Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Yo the big news is that this is the end of the year and now all kind of bigtime sport journelists like me come out with our lists of the Top Storys if the Year! So I will do it! Even though this was a crappy year for sports with nothing going on and nothing good happening! But at least it was a good year for other stuff like TV and poltics!

So the Top Story of 2004 is The Great Coach Kay SAVES College Baskeball!!!!!

Yes thats right thats oviously the Top Story of the year! Face facts the Great Coach Kay SAVED college baskeball because he said no to Lakers and saved Duke! This is the biggest story of all times!

You see the Great Coach Kay is the perfect roll modell and voicer and image man and Hero of all of baskeball! Because he Cares! He is very kind and Caring and sweet and his playas are all egghead scholers and Geniouses and cleancut nice boys but he still gets them to kick all ass and do anything to win and play awesome deffense and slap the floor and get in everones face and grab they jersseys and slap they hands and then get up in they grill and tell them they suck and are garbige and have no chance verse the great Duke! And its TRUE!! That is called WINING and that is what the great Coach Kay is all about and he will do anything to win and no one can stop him!! If you get in his way he will CRUCH you like a bugg and spit in you face and choke you!! So watch out or he will CRUSH you!! That is why he is a great repersentitive of college baskeball and sports and America and why he is such a awesome roll modell and why everone needs to copy him and act just like him! Face facts if the Great Coach Kay ever left Duke college baskeball would fall apart and no one would ever care about it again it would be a great tragety! And he allmost did!! He could of gone to the Lakers to win a bunch of champsionships in the NBA but he has so much class and grateness and unselfeshitude that he said No I will not go to the NBA because I am a Hero and college baskeball needs me to save it and allso I need a lot more money yo I gots to get paid and Shack is leaving the Lakers anyways so who cares about them anymore I will stay at Duke for a big raise and take this year off and let the team look like a bunch of chumps for a while to trick everone and make us the under-dawgs untell March Madniss and then we are going to come to life and suprise everone and kick all ass and SHOCK THE WORLD and win it all again when you all said we had no chance!!! OS cram it!!

So you see the Great Coach Kay saved college baskeball and Duke and if you ever watch college baskeball then you all should be on your knees thanking him and praising him and begging for mercy!! That is the biggest news story of all times face facts!!

So this is how the Top Ten News Storys of the whole year rank up!

1.! Coach Kay Saves College Baskeball!!

2! The great Geroge "W" Bush kicks ass and becomes President of the Year again and Cary goes home like a big looser which he is!

3! That lowlive tramp Jannet Jackson whips off her cloths and gets naked and nude right at the Super Bowell and I got a tape of it and you can even see her booby right there on the TV oh my god its real nakedness right on the TV and it isent even Skinamax it is the best thing that ever happen! But she is a desgrace for doing it they aught to lock her up! SHAME ON YOU JANNET JACKSEN!!!

4! That Lacy Pedersen guy killed his wife and is going to get the CHAIR!!!

5! My Patriats Win ANOTHER Super Bowel!

6! The Awesome USA kick the asses of Iraqu and take them over and lock up Sadamn Husane and put him in a hole in the ground and kick all of they asses and kill the bad guys and give them a good govermint where they will finely act like human beins and do what we say!

7! The Great Eminam has a new alblum and it rules but not hardley manny people buy it because we all downloated it off the internets for free so that kicks ass!

8! Yankees CHOKE like looser crappy junky desgraces and Redsox win the National Championship!

9! My USSC Trojins win it all and are CHAMPS!!!

10! The big title wave kills a bunch of people but luckyly they werent American!

So those are the FACTS of the storys of the year why dont you FACE them!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Yo whats up people! I just seen how the TV announced Lants Armstrong for Athalete of the Year! That is awesome news for the Great Lants! He is a awesome bike rider and he rides real fast and he dont hardly ever fall down! And he is from AMERICA so that makes him the BEST! So cram it France and Itilie and Eruope and Englend we RULE!! But the point is that even though the Great Armstrong is the best bike rider of all times he is still a bike rider guy! That doesent count as athaletes! Athaletes are big strong guys who kick ass and lead they team to the CHAMPIONSHIP they dont ride around on a bike all day like a littel kid! So come on TV get with the program and pick a ATHALETE for Best Athalete of the Year not some bike rider guy! Why dident they pick Shack or Tom Braddy or The Rock or the tall kid from my Ucon or some Olympec guy or Kurt Shilleng or Derrick Jeeter or any REAL champion athalete! Duh! That would of been smart but instead they wanted to be dumb or well anyways it doesent matter because at least a American won! And it was a crappy year for sports anyways with all of the usuel awesome teams playing like crap and garbage and choking! What kind of a year is it when the awesome teams like Duke and Yankees and Lakers and Dalas Cowboys and Carolina and Norta Dame ALL just SUCK and CHOKE and play like garbige! I will tell you what kind of year a CRAPPY one! This was probaly the worst year of sports for all time! So no one even cares about sports that much this year we are waiting untell next year which is going to RULE trust me we are BACK!! The only good thing about this year is that I perdicted all the champsion teams and at least my faverite teams all still won it all! But I am sick of some of them like Yucon and some others so it doesent really count anyways because next year is going to RULE and be the best year of all times right after the worst year of all times! So congradulations Lants Armstrong go USA you ar egood at bike riding and maybe next year a REAL athalete will win!!!!

Friday, December 17, 2004

I have HAD it with you whinners and complainers and hatas all saying that my websight doesnt have enough satistics! Cram it!!! This is the best websight on all of earth so I will give you poindexters and eggheads some awesome NFL satistics to add up! This better shut you loosers up! Trust me you wont find these awesome satistics on any other websights so cram it hatas!

Vintary CHAMPSION PATRIATS! 38/39/38/39 48 123
Grayham Cin 32-32 24 27 53 104
Stoover 2525 2526 50 100
Keading SE 44-45 18/23 53 98
Ellam Den 33-33 21?25 52 96

Lookit them satistics unreal! Wow if you are a expert like me you know those numbers dont lie! They are FACTS!!! You can argue with me but you cant argue with FIGUERS!! So you can see my Patriats are NUMBER #1!!!!! AgaiN!! THe numbers dont lie!!!! Why wont you face FACTS!!!!

PS Dont you steal these satistics and put them on you own websight without paying me MONEY or else I will SUE you right into the pourhouse I mean it!!!! Dont be a stealer and a THEIF!!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Yo the big awesome news is how I am going to get me a ROLLEX watch! This rules I got a email today about how I am the big winner and they are going to send me this awesome Rollex! Unreal I am so pshyched I cant belief it! All bigtimer cebretys and rich people like me wear Rollexes and now I will too! It will fit in good with all my other bling like my gold chains! This is the best thing to ever happen to anyone ever too bad you loosers dont ever win a free ROLLEX like I did well too bad that is because you r all jealous loosers not a WINNER like me! I am going to rock this mad bling at all they clubs like Shebooms and all the girls are going to be so into me this is going to ROCK! Just wait untell the next time someone goes yo what time is it! Then I will roll up my sleve and look at my Rollex and they will all see it and they will go Yo Aweseome Dawg Man you are rocking a Rollex that is AWESOME I see that you are a winner and RICH and da man so I am so sorry that I was a jerk to you and disrespected you I will never do it again I am so sorry! I cant wait untell that Rollex gets here! Does Rollexes have like good alarms on them and like neon lighting up hands on them! I bet you can play a vidio game right on you rollex watch! And probaly you can take mad pictures with it and play mp3s and I bet it even has like a walkytalky right in it! Because Rollexes are the BEST watches and everone knows that you have to be the BEST to be abel to wear one! This is awesome about time they FINELY give me one what took so damn long! Cripes!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Yo did you see the big boxxing match on the ESPNN the other night it kicked ass! Mohamed Alli is BACK yo! He had his big comeback fight verse this little muscley guy name Fraser and it was a awesome fight! It was the best fight I seen on TV ever sense the NBA fight a couple weeks ago! Alli was all up in his face and telling him who was boss and saying come on beeyotch what are you going to do! And Fraser would just put his head down and punch at him over and over he fighted real good for a looser! Anyways no one ever would of thought that an olden days million year old guy like Mohamed Alli would ever be able to fight again exspecially against a modern guy and WIN! It was unreal Alli must be allmost as old as Geroge Forman like maybe 70 years old but he still looked pretty good and kicked ass and told everone all about it! That is why he is the AWESOMEST! JUst like he told everone! So look out Mike Tysen you better run if you want to keep you champion belt because Mohamed Alli is BACK bayaby and he is going to kick you ass Tysen! Mohamed Alli he floats like a stinger and fights like a bee! That even rhymes he is a good wrapper too maybe he will come out with a wrapping alblum like Ron Artess! Hey now that Artess is suspendered forever he can become a boxxer and now he can fight Alli for the belt! That would RULE I cant wait untell they fight it would be the best of all TIMES!!! GO ALLI!! The Awesomest of all times!!

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Yo what is up dawgs! As you know I was RIGHT when I called my awesome Illnoise to whup Wake Forrest and proove to all the playa hatas that WE are NUMBER #1! And we did! So learn you lessen and realize that I am always right and stop douting me like a jive turkie or some kind of a chump! WHO IS SUPER BOWEL CHAMPS THAT RIGHT MY PATRIATS AND WHO IS NATIONAL CHAMP OF BASE BALL THATS RIGHT MY REDSOX AND NOW MY ILLNOISE = NUBER #1 OF baskeball!!! And dont forget my Pisstens NATIONAL CHAMPS of the whole NBA!!! Ha face facts I RULE!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Yo the big news today is the biggest hugest baskeball game of the year is going to be played and my two faverite teams are playing in it! Awesome Wake Forrest and superstar Illnoise are playing tonite on the TV and everone is all axcited to finely see these two super teams play! I cant wait because I know we are going to KICK ASS!! That is right I am perdicting right here right now that we are going to WIN!! I dont care what the playa hatas who like that other team say they are full of it trust me we are going to WIN I guarantee it! Take it to the bank, its a sure thing its a lock write it down set it on stone bank on it Bucko!!! WE WILL WIN TONIGHT!! That is a fact!! Anyone who disagrees why dont you bet me then! I will bet any of you anything you want that we will win!!! Well!!! Well!!! Yeah thats what I thought all talk no action. Well just you watch that game tonight and you will see us kick ass and you will see us WIN the big game because we are the BEST!!! When we win remeber I TOLD YOU SO!!!! Hawhawhaw I cant wait untell we win this game it is going to RULE I am going to get me a bunhc of 40s right now and start getting hammered on them and all drunk and when we win I am going to run all around the park and scream and yell and give everone hell I cant wait its going to RULE!!! YESSSSS!!!!

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