Friday, September 30, 2005

Gass is too expansive!! What the hell is going on!! Lucky for me I aint been driving too much I almost got my licence back and allso my awesome Chevie Esuvee is up on the blocks right now! SO I am very lucky!! The reason my Essuvee is up on the blocks right now is becuase untell I can get my cousens freind to pass it on inspection! But when I get that sumbitch back on the road I am going to do so manny donughts you wont belief it!! Dont even be in the piggeldywiggeldy parking lot when I am back on the road beeyothc or I will run you ass over when I do donughts in my badass Suvee!! Donughts is when you go real fast and then spin around like a craszy man!! You car spin around and look all badass and dangrous it is the awsomest thign ever!! I think it is called donughts because they cops eat donughts and they allways come when you do donughts get it!!

Anyways the point is get out of my way I will run you right over I dont even care!! Gass is to expensive its because the foriners what run the gas stations are crimnels and greedy! They charge like 5 gotdamn dollers for a 40 ounce and 2 dollers for a coke and 5 dollers for a lottry ticket unreal I am not made of money I am a reguler guy not Howard Inestein or Jerry D. Rockafeller!! Cripes they aught to be a law against it way to go HILLERY you librel gass station owner lover!! Make gass cheap for when I get my essuvee back on the road!!! So I can do all kind of mad donughts!!!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

All the new Tv shows are on so that is what is cool! Everone wants to watch the New Aprantice with Martha Stuart! She is that craszy mean girl who went to JAIL for being a snob! She is probaly all hard and badass now and will be making these aprantices her beeyocthes! So that will be cool to watch she will be all Yo beeyothc go and git me a soda or I will mess you up punk! Dont make me stabb you with my prisen knife I will do it beeyoth! I am a craszy womman you do what I say!! Or I will STABB you ass beeyocth!!! I AM MARTHE STUART AND I WILL MESS YOU UP!!! So there are some other good shows to watch now too there is that one with the tall girl from the Fly it is called President Girl and it is about how if there was ever a girl president she would be kind of hot but would be a airhead and get on everones nerves and ruin everthing because she cant do a man's job! Allso there is that show about the alians underwater and how they are allready here on the world and how we need to fight them! So you know that one will rule yo! And allso I seen this dockumintry about this cool guy name Erl he has a badass mustash and cool hair like me and he is very smart and everone likes him!! It is pretty good show it remines me of me! So you see there are so manny new awsome Tv shows to watch this rules and it is going to be the best year ever of all times!!! So stop complaining like a librel and turn on the Tv and watch some awsome shows!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

WHOOOOOOOOOO WE WIN AGAIN I CALLED IT YANKES RULE CHAMPS YESS!!! I called it the other night when that rooky Bingo Crobsy hit the big Home Run!! Rooky of the YEar!!! ANd then I called it again when the Great Unnit Randie Johnsen threw a perfect game! For my Yankes!! Except for that one run! One meesely run!! Unreal how awesome we are! And now we are in FIRST PLACE just like I called it!! Greatest comback in hisstory of all sports in the world ever!!!! Unreal you all said we were dead and it was over but NO I said my Yankes are CHAMPS and Red Socks are CHOKERS who allways CHOKE and so my champion Yankes would come back and win it all!! And now look we DID!! Maybe this will teach you all your lessen to NOT brag about you team beffore its all OVER!! When will you people learn!!! WHEN!! Anyways who cares my Yankes are CHAMPS and won the divsioin and will win the World Serieses FINELY for the first time in forever because stupid CHOKER Joe Torry FINELY started listening to me again!!! I said to pitch Randie Johnsen last night and he FINELY did and lookit we WON!!! Torry should of listen to me YEARS ago we would of won like 5 more world serieses!!! Torry wake up and stop pitching these jive chumps and pitch the Great Randie Johnsen more often!! Why are you leting some SCRUB pitch tonite it should be Randie Johnsen what more does he have to do to show you he RULZ!! Anyways you better pitch him in the first game of the Word Serieses unless you want to CHOKE again and loose!!! But I dont!!! So pitch him you foole!!!

PS YANKES RULE!!!!!!!! Cramit it red socks!!!! Chokers!!!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

FOOT BALL is BACK!!! Yo foot ball is the awesomest thing in the world and it is BACK! They had Monday NIght Foot ball on tonite and it is so awesome they had Ken Yaywest the controversiel gang rapsta who tried to kill the president and he was badass and allso Greenday who is a rock band and they are pretty good they rock yo! And the Rolling Stones who are like a million years OLD but they still know how to ROCK Mick Jaeger dance all around like a craszy kind of chicken! And they play all they gitars and rock out on awesome songs like I cant Get No Statisfaction Hey Hey Hey and allso Get Me Started Up I Never Stop and all kind of Classics like that!

I would pay like three hunderd dollers to see these Legends play a live conscert so I could tell everone all about it and they would all be like Yo King Awesome Dawg yo rule and are the coolest of all times ever!! But instead we got to see them right on the TV for free it was awesome! This is why foot ball is the best sport of ALL!! Allso they had a game later and the Great Tom Braddy of my Patriets played verse Randie Moss WOW what a matchup! Of course my Patriets are killing the Randy Moss team because he is the only good player! Why dont foot ball smarten up and listen to me and put Randie Moss on PATRIETS where he bellong! That would RULE to have the best player who is badass and dont take no crap to play for the best team which is all superstars and allaways win!! Think about it! Then they could put the great TO on there too and have the awesomest team EVER of all times WOW do it now foot ball what are you waiting for! Patriets could trade some of they superstars like Tylaw Malloy or the fat kid who got cancer Ted Brewski for TO and Randie Moss that would make it fair for both teams but then PATRIETS would rule so much we would win ever game like 500-0! Instead of by 15 points like we are going to tonite! Face facts this is the best idear of all times EVER!! So do it NOW foot ball!!!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

John Denver use to play Gillgan! On the TV and now he = dead! He croaked the other day! I guess he got voted off the iselend now huh!! Get it!!! Hawhawhawhawhawhawhaw!! Too bad Gillgan is dead now the Skiper wont have any one to hit with his hat on a iselend!!! Get it!!!! Hawhawhawhawhawhaw I am so gotdamn funnie I need to be on the TV! J. Lennlo if you are reading this then hire me up to make your monolog! I will be much funnyer then you face facts! So pay me lots of money for my awesome jokes! Or else you cant use them I will SUE you you big chin freak!! PS Gillgen you should of got with Maryan and Jinger when you had the chance what are you stupit! They were HOT! Too bad you were so dumb you couldent even get off a iselend!! Hawhawhawhaw damn I am funnie!!

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